Friday, October 05, 2012

And Now We Dance

It started with a conversation on how to accomplish some tactical
needs. Like a ton of bricks it hit me in one timeless moment. The
world has spun.

The typical circumstance I'm faced with is how I can help people tactically fix their problems or accomplish some time-boxed goal. Sometimes this requires that I help people become better at what they do. But my impact always has a clock; there is always a time limit. My influence is typically predicated on the underlying assumption that I won't be around very long. That any habits or new ways of thinking will probably only continue for the limited duration of my watchful gaze. But that is all changed now.

I have people to invest in. My first priority is helping the people in my organization to be better. To grow the people while we accomplish our objectives. When your timeline changes, then your measures of success can change. When your measure of success changes, your strategy and therefore your tactics will also change. And by extension the conversations will change.

If you know me at all, you know how deeply in my psyche the desire to see others become better is rooted. Helping others seek improvement without judgement is hard. It is a struggle to be consistently encouraging and accepting while simultaneously striving daily to champion quality and excellence. Acceptance of reality so easily slips into complacency. And to my knowledge no one has ever called me complacent. But then we all have gifts. One of my very few just happens to be juggling multiple conflicting agendas simultaneously. Living for the now, richly reveling in the present, and the relentless pursuit of excellence don't always play nicely. And that's why my heart skipped a bit mid-conversation. The fantastical realization that this role is uniquely suited to my particular strengths.

It's one thing to believe I can do a job. There have been many undertakings and opportunities in which I knew with certainty I could be successful. It is another thing entirely to confront with eyes-open a circumstance that was seemingly crafted just for me. To feel a resonance from the marrow of my bones that I've been brought to this role and it has been fashioned for me alone. That my wonderful diversity, like a perfect puzzle piece finally fit in place, might actually be home.

I'm looking forward to the growth. To becoming better as I flex those muscles so often underused and under-appreciated until now. I'm ecstatic and excited and impatient and so many other things. But one thing I'm not is nervous. Because this is going to be awesome.

Just you watch.

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